Everything you need to know about getting started, setting up your profile, finding people, and keeping things private and discreet. Use the search box below, or browse by topic.
DirectDesire is a private, invite-only community for open-minded couples and singles in the lifestyle. It's a discreet space to meet like-minded people, announce travels, organise events, and connect — without ads, tracking, or your details being sold to anyone.
Membership is by application. Head to the Apply page, tell us a little about yourself, and submit. Every application is reviewed by our team before approval to keep the community genuine and safe.
Applications are reviewed manually, usually within a short window. Once you're approved you'll be able to sign in and your profile becomes visible to other approved members. If anything's missing from your application we may reach out before deciding.
You can join as a Couple 👫, a Single Woman 👩, or a Single Man 👤. Your type is shown on your profile and lets others filter who they're looking to meet.
Complete your profile so people can find and recognise you:
Only approved members can see member profiles. Nothing is visible to the public web, and the site asks search engines not to index member pages. Your verification photos from the application are seen only by the admin team and are never shown publicly.
Open your account menu and go to Edit profile. There you can update your photo, city, the details about you and your partner, and your About write-up. Save when you're done.
No data is ever sold. There are no advertising trackers. Even the city search runs entirely on our own servers — when you look up a location, that lookup never leaves DirectDesire and isn't sent to Google or any third party. See our Privacy Policy for the full detail.
It's a temporary 🌙 status you can switch on when you're available to meet. While it's active, a "Free tonight" badge shows on your profile and others can filter to find members who are free right now. It expires on its own, so you won't be left marked available.
In Edit profile, start typing your city in the City box. After two letters, a list of matching cities appears — pick yours from the list rather than typing it freely. That's important: choosing from the list is what lets the site calculate distances and match you with people heading to the same place.
Almost certainly. The city list covers over 160,000 places worldwide, including small resort towns and destinations like Le Cap d'Agde. If yours genuinely isn't there, pick the nearest town — distances are approximate anyway.
Distances are approximate and city-level — calculated between the centres of two cities, never from a precise address or GPS location. It's enough to know roughly how far someone is, without anyone revealing exactly where they live. You can see distances in miles or kilometres depending on your Units setting.
A distance only appears when both people have set a city through the picker. If you joined before the new city picker existed, open Edit profile and re-save your city by selecting it from the suggestions — that attaches the location data needed for distance.
Go to Travels & Outings from your account menu. Add the city you're visiting (pick it from the suggestions), your dates, and an optional note about what you're looking for. Post it, and members in that area can see you're coming.
While a trip is active (today falls within its dates), your shown location automatically switches to your trip city. So distances and "near me" results reflect where you actually are, not your home — and switch back automatically when the trip ends.
Open Community Travels and use the tabs:
"In Common" matches by the exact place you both picked, so it works even if the city is spelled differently in different languages or styles.
From any profile you can follow the member to keep up with their activity, and send them a message through the on-site messaging. Following is also how the "Following" tabs across the site are populated.
Use Search to filter members by type (couple, single woman, single man), who's online now, and who's marked free tonight. Combine filters to narrow things down.
On the Events page, choose + Create event, then add a title, date and time, city, a description, and a visibility setting (below). Members can RSVP, and you can edit or delete your own events anytime.
Official events run by the team appear under the DirectDesire name.
It's for spontaneous, date-specific meetups. Post a Rendezvous with a date (within the next 30 days), a city, what you're looking for, and an intensity level. It's a lighter-weight way to say "we're around on this date — who's about?"
Go to your photos area, create an album with a title, choose whether it's public or private, then upload images into it. You can change an album's visibility or delete it (and its photos) at any time.
Public albums are visible to approved members browsing your profile. Private albums are kept back for when you want to share more selectively. You're always in control — you choose each album's visibility and can change it whenever you like.
Common image formats are supported (including modern phone formats), up to the size limit shown on the upload screen. Each photo is processed into a thumbnail automatically for faster browsing.
Right now access is completely free for founding members, and all features are included. Paid plans may be introduced in future — if that happens, founding members will be notified in advance. You can see your status on the Membership page.
Open Settings and pick Imperial (miles, feet/inches, pounds) or Metric (kilometres, centimetres, kilograms). Every distance, height and weight across the site then displays in your chosen units.
In Settings you control two things: "Notify me in my feed when…" (what activity you want to hear about) and "Allow broadcasting to feeds when…" (which of your own actions get shared to others' feeds). Tick only what you want.
Use the Sign out option in your account menu to log out on any device. For password help, see Settings or contact support.
If a member behaves inappropriately, use the Report option from their profile. Reports go to the admin team for review. Everyone here is expected to be respectful, honest about who they are, and to treat consent as non-negotiable.
In short: be genuine, be respectful, and respect consent and discretion — yours and everyone else's. Don't share other members' photos or details outside the community. The full rules are in our Terms & Community Guidelines.
Profiles are members-only and not indexed by search engines; locations are approximate; verification photos stay private to admins; and nothing about your activity is sold or sent to advertisers. You also choose what's public versus private on your own profile and albums.
Type at least two letters and give it a moment — then pick from the dropdown that appears. Try the city's local spelling without worrying about accents or apostrophes ("cap dagde" finds "Le Cap d'Agde"). If a tiny village isn't listed, choose the nearest town.
Your browser may be showing a cached page. Do a hard refresh: Cmd+Shift+R on Mac (Ctrl+F5 on Windows), or open the page in a private window.
This almost always means your city isn't attached to a place yet. Go to Edit profile, re-select your city from the suggestions, and save. After that, distances and the "In Common" travel tab will work.
Email us at support@direct-desire.com and we'll get back to you.
Reach the team at support@direct-desire.com — we're happy to help.